Thursday, March 31, 2011

I'm a Charlotte

Yesterday a coworker was admiring my bright green Kate Spade bag. She said, "You know who you remind me of? Kristen Davis on Sex and the City." I have never heard this before, but I take it as a huge complement. I told her that Charlotte is my favorite one, but I doubt she realized that she made my whole day. It sure beats the usual . . . "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Alanis Morrisette?"

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Velvet Rope

or Why My Church Should Relocate to the Meatpacking District

Two Tuesdays ago I went to Tenjune for the first time in a couple of years. Tenjune is a club in the meatpacking district that has a "doorman's discretion" policy. Over the years I have learned what they like so I was complemented on my heels and walked right past the velvet rope. I became bored with this scene five years ago when I realized how much I love to dance in sneakers, but I must say I had a lot of fun with my friend H and the DJ was perfection.

After 10 years of experiencing New York nightlife I have come to understand a few things about getting past the velvet rope. My friends come in a wide variety of heights, weights, ethnicities, and social classes. I was once being allowed past a velvet rope at Le Souk with my friend S. When the bouncer got a look at S's friends coming in behind us, we were all turned away. When I went to Apotheke with my friend J, the doorman actually came to the back of the line to escort us past the other ladies who'd been waiting. I've taken notice of all the patterns and have come to understand what "doorman's discretion" means.

Doormen are most likely to let you in you are tall, thin, attractive, well dressed (read: rich and sophisticated), and white. If you possess four of these five attributes you have a good chance. (If not you probably need to buy a bottle.) If you are white, or can pass for white, you can probably get away with just two more. In fact, you can tell when a formerly exclusive club is on its way out by how few Caucasians are still going. The sad irony is that many of these doormen are overweight undereducated men of color from outer boroughs i.e. the type most often turned away from the "best" clubs and lounges.

My church is located near Park Avenue on the Upper East Side. When I came back from law school, the demographic of the church had dramatically shifted in terms of race and class. If my church were a club in the Meatpacking District, the elders would be the bouncers. The church is like one of those clubs that used to be hot, but now that the b&t crowd's discovered it, it's no longer cool. Unwilling to let go, the elders have taken it upon themselves to make sure that only people with "a certain polish" are in leadership positions. Anybody might be able to enter through the front doors of the church, but to really get in it's easiest if you are highly educated, rich, attractive, and preferably white. If you are white, you really don't even need the other three, so long as you are well groomed and not a social pariah. If you are none of those things they will still welcome you, to cook their meals and clean the fellowship hall. People claim to have been "banned" and "dechurched" by the elders for nefarious reasons and it's really not hard to believe.

It really is like an exclusive club. You know the door policy is harsh and unfair, but once you get inside you're having so much fun, you forget all about the people still waiting out in the cold (or those just flat out turned away.) In fact, you feel flattered to have made the cut. I'm not gonna lie. I preferred my church when it was largely highly educated, all-American, Manhattanites. It's easier to be around people like myself. But I don't believe heaven has a velvet rope, so church shouldn't either.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

You Know How Picky I Am About My Shoes Daddy, And They Only Go On My Feet

I am thrilled to have added a sixth pair of Kate Spade Karolinas to my collection.
Natural Roccia Python

My first college roomate, a good friend from law school, and my best friend from childhood came to visit the city this weekend. It was so fun. I am totally exhausted. My friend M and I reminisced about Clueless and how we used to say that we were friends because we both know what it's like for people to be jealous of us. I'm pretty sure that I still have that movie memorized.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

New Favorite

Diane Von Furstenburg Dugan Top in Tiny Simple Stripe Nude/Navy

I got this top last weekend and it's my new favorite. I use to only spend money on jeans/pants because I didn't like my lower half. Now, for the first time in my life, I love my arms, and I think that justifies raiding my $20 limit for non-work shirts. Hooray.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Don't You Think It's Strange?

I think it's strange when people take food and drink products into the bathroom with them. I think it's gross. Today a coworker practically followed me into the stall because she left her water. I handed it to her, but I was totally grossed out. Why not leave her water at her cube? I washed my hands like crazy. I will now forever associate her with this incident. I have so many bathroom phobias.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My very good friend J asked me to be her bridal assistant for her LA wedding coming up on April 3. She seemed sheepish about asking me, but I was so honored and excited. I figure I get to hang out with her on the most important day of her life, rather than get the 30 seconds everyone else will get. Plus I don't have to spend the $300 on dress and alterations inevitable if I'd been in the wedding party. She and the groom are only having one attendant each, their sisters. I think that's sweet.

So I was looking into things that a bridal assistant should carry around and I sure wouldn't have thought of it all on my own, (Brush/comb, Cell phone, Dental floss (for all those photos!), Emery board, Extra panty hose, Hair spray, Handkerchief, Makeup, Mints, Mirror, Legal documents, contact solution, bobby pins, scissors, needle and thread, and safety pins. There's more but my arms can only carry so much. I don't think most people would be so excited about this job. Perhaps I chose the wrong career.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


I've been so busy lately that I never even have time to do laundry. I'm trying to avoid sending it out but yikes! At one point I hadn't done any for three weeks. It's getting warmer and I've started going out more and more. I've gone to all the places on my To Do List, and more. No more movies for me.
I recently went to see an Off Broadway show called Love, Loss, and What I Wore. It's by Nora Ephron and had a revolving cast. We saw it with Sabrina Labouf (from the Cosby Show :)) and Orpheh, a huge Mariah fan and actress I met years ago when I went to see the Great American Trailer Park Musical with my friend K. The show was hilarious and I would highly recommend as something to see with your girlfriends, Mom, sister, etc.

Sunday night I went to the Fusion Fashion Show at the Parson School of Design (where they filmed Project Runway) with my friend L. It's a competition between 15 students from the freshman and sophomore classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology and the Parsons School of Design. Each student got to show 6 looks and I was really impressed with the creativity of such young students. I love creative people. They always inspire me.

Next week I'm going to see Kathy Griffin Wants a Tony with my friend S. I am a huge fan and I can't wait.