I have fallen out of love with the city. Maybe it's the winter or my deadbeat friends, but I have fallen out of love with New York. Perhaps I'm just so old that reality has finally set in. Even if I could afford to live in my beautiful apartment, $2250 per month is a ridiculous price to pay. The men here are bastards driven solely by sex and greed. Finally, this city no longer represents the land of opportunity with over 10% of its population being unemployed and with the employed population doing all the work their former coworkers did without increased pay. The job I have now is awesome. I love what I do, but I am severly underpaid and it's not worth the price.
In my first post ever, I talked about the new Lilly store opening on Madison Ave and how I couldn't wait to return to the city and wear a Lilly dress to my beloved church on Park Ave. Well it is a love a fair no longer. Once upon a time it was a place to go in the city where people had similar morals and values to mine. Now I feel like a PG rated girl in an X rated church. Before I left for law school, my church was filled with sophisticated intellectual Manhattanites with liberal politics despite conservative lifestyles. Now it's teeming with pharisaical heterosexists who pass by every low rent church in their neighborhoods so they can take over the one in mine. End of rant.
Have I ever professed my love of Presbyterianism on this blog? Well I will now. I've been reading Tim Keller's book Counterfeit Gods and it is a gem. He is the preacher at Redeemer Presbyterian on the Upper East Side and if I remain in the city, I think I may start attending. I'm not Presbyterian myself, but I spent elementary through high school at a Presbyterian prep school so for me it is familiar and comfortable. Of all the protestant denominations, it is the most refreshingly normal.
It PAINS me to admit that the city just isn't what it used to be. But I guess it's true. You can't go home again. I never should have left it.